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The F Word

Right now I would love to hear a doctor say that word.

F. Fibromyalgia.

As strange as that sounds, I am at a point where Fibro would be such a blessing to hear.

I was fairly certain going into all this that I would hear the doctor say the F word and I found myself struggling with it. Mostly because fibro is what they say when your body constantly feels like a truck ran you over or someone randomly lights your limbs on fire. But they cant REALLY find anything to explain it. It feels sort of fake. Like its a word used to pat you on the head and send you out the door. Cause there isn’t really a definitive test for fibro like there would be for so many other conditions. And I know that is part of the problem with diagnosing conditions like this.

Don’t get me wrong, I do understand that fibro is a very real thing and those living with it for years have faced such unfair stigmatizisms. And I do understand that I have all the tell tale signs and symptoms. Google diagnosed me long before the doctor did. I do understand that how I feel is summed up by the word fibromyalgia. And so I went in ready to hear the F world.

But it didn’t happen like that.

The doctor saw something unusual. A high reaction to an antibody test used to screen for lupus.

Within 24 hours I was visiting a Rheumatologist. She was very nice and explained things clearly and simply to me. She prepped me for and ran loads and loads of tests. Dracula probably would have taken less blood.

In two weeks Bob and I will go in to discuss these results. We will talk about the extent of any damage and what all these things mean. We will hopefully get some answers to our many, many questions. And make a plan for living with ‘this’.

In the meantime I am just laying low, resting to deal with the symptoms I have, making changes like eating gluten-free (may morph into low-gluten). It is helping me get a little more energy.

I have had a few days of wallowing in self pity and chocolate, and then a few more researching all I can.

This is part of me moving on to the next stage in acceptance. Changing my F word to a new one. One that I hope inspires all of us when facing oncoming struggles.

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Triberr-Blog Sharing on Steroids?

Last week my friend @lucretiapruitt clued me in, as is usually the case, about a great new reach multiplying tool I needed to know about- Triberr. I spent the better part of this am checking it out and figuring out what it is about and why I should care.

As this moves more out of beta and into the mainstream you are likely to start getting twitter dm’s asking you to join a triberr tribe. So consider this your heads up-a quick and dirty explanation of what this is all about.

triberr image
What is Triberr:

  • What is Triberr? Simply put it is a way to have your blog post links retweeted via twitter
  • Who retweets my links? People in your tribe.
  • Who is in my tribe? You start off in a tribe of the person who invited you. It’s up to them who is in the group.
  • Can I make my own tribe? Once you are invited into a tribe you can then create 3 other tribes that you lead.
  • How many people are in a tribe? The default is 7 (free) but the tribe leader can expand the group by paying ‘bones’-triberr currency (which you can earn or buy through paypal)
  • Do I have to retweet other peoples links? Yes. That is how the love gets spread. You can set your mode to not auto tweet your tribal stream if you are the leader. As a member you go into auto-tweet. I can’t see a way to change that.
  • What if I don’t want to tweet something a member of my tribe posts? Tweets go out every hour, you can check your dashboard and see what is scheduled to be sent out through your account. You can delete any posts there. Under “content settings” you can gain some control of the types of tweets you don’t want sent.
  • How many tribes can I be a part of? 4 – the one you got invited into and 3 you create. That’s it right now

Why Use Triberr:

  • It’s blog linking on steroids.
  • Automatic tweets which keeps your stream active (helps increase your Klout score)
  • People re-tweeting you (again helping with Klout)
  • Great exposure at zero cost (unless you choose to use premium features)

How Do I Start:

  • You need to be invited. It seems most invites are coming through Twitter DM’s. There is an invite code in the dm.
  • Accept the invite, use the code. Set up your account with your blog RSS and set your preferences.
  • You should now be able to create 3 tribes of your own. The kicker though is that you can’t add people already in triberr at first. That is really weird to me. You have to upgrade your tribe with ‘bones’ (just their name for points) and have at least 3 people to add existing Triberr people. They call this ‘inbreeding’.
  • Point your friends over to my post (haha, but no seriously, here is the link: http://tribr.it/1Bj5P) so they have a clue what this weird DM is you are sending them.

Possible Pitfalls:

  • Unless you are watching the tribal stream carefully, you have the potential to retweet something from a tribe mate that you wouldn’t normally share.
  • Too many tweets if your tribe is full of super active bloggers.

My Choice?

For now I am testing the waters. I am playing. I do see its potential and as long as I am comfortable with the tribe members I see no real harm. I will report back how helpful (or not) it is.

My suggestion is that if you are lucky enough to have someone invite you to join? DO IT and see for yourself.

Thoughts? Questions? What didn’t I cover that people need to know right off? Leave me a comment or check out the Triberr FAQ

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More Lazy Summer

Ok, seriously….even my dogs are being lazy. Buddy is NOT allowed on that couch but I couldn’t resist snapping his picture before yelling at him

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Nala loving the grass…

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Look at that gorgeous sky…

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Peppers are coming along…

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Hope you all have a wonderful Father’s Day!

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Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock

As my last birthday passed I began to hear an odd sound. It started off in quiet whispers but is getting louder and louder as time passes on . It is so loud now that I recognize it for what it is….my biological clock warning me the alarm is soon to sound and final call is fast approaching.

While we made the decision years ago to not have more children, I’ve waxed and waned with my feelings of maybe, possibly, reopening that door. I have researched adoption, even special needs adoption. I have researched foster parenting. I have researched genetic science if we did want to open the biological door. With two neurological defect pregnancies in my 20′s I doubt I have it in me emotionally to chance our genetic match up in my late 30′s.

But tonight as my oldest roamed the mall with his friends, I had the chance to just sit. That is all. Just be. This is VERY hard for me. But I did it. I watched children come and go and play and I marveled in how they could make toys out of chairs and each other. How rolling around in the grass outside by the fountains at Park Meadows mall was as exciting to them as a trip to the Lego store.

I marveled at their sense of joy and peace in just being. And while I enjoyed and marveled I realized I did not long. I did not long to scoop one of them and bring them home with me. I did not long to be one of the mothers watching them. I was content that my teen is becoming more independent. Content that my youngest will be a teen in a few short months.

Maybe because my youngest still needs me more than most kids his age do softens that blow. Maybe knowing that while Con got his permit to drive yesterday, Carter probably won’t be waiting at dmv on his 15th birthday. We know as a family it will take more than a few courses at Master Drive for Carter to be ready. He will get there, just not as fast as the other.

And maybe that is why the ticking is growing quieter. It’s quieting down so I can really listen. I can just be and open myself to hearing what I really need and want.

Seeing your child drive, talking about the pros and cons of colleges, planning and working a business with them, these are all things that tell me I have very few mothers days left with the kids still in my home, making me breakfast and watching movies in our pjs.

The truth is I need to stop listening to a faint tick tock and spend more days like today. Thinking about what I am and who I am when you remove the title of mother from the front of my job description. I hope and pray that my job as mother is always here, evolving the way it has over the last 16 years. But I need to know how I will survive when no one needs a ride, or girl advice, or lunch made. I need to know I can be a mom in the next stages instead of finding ways to return to the motherhood I know and feel safe in.

I guess the only answer I have for that damn ticking clock is that I need more time to figure out if this is all the children I was meant to mother, and if it is, I need time to figure out how I gracefully become the mother they need me to be for their ever evolving realities.

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Klout: What Is It? And Why Should You Care?

Klout is a company that measures your influence across the social networking platforms of twitter, facebook, and recently added, linkedin. The official description from their site is:

The Klout Score is the measurement of your overall online influence. The scores range from 1 to 100 with higher scores representing a wider and stronger sphere of influence. Klout uses over 35 variables on Facebook and Twitter to measure True Reach, Amplification Probability, and Network Score.

Measuring social influence is not something new. Grader and plenty of others have been doing it for a long time. So, what is the big deal about Klout?

The big deal is that it has quickly become the social media score lots of companies care about.

What does that really mean? It means that your score could play an important role in your ability to be a part of campaigns, sell ad space, or even get noticed through customer service.

There is a lot of backroom shop talk about how Klout is being used. It is becoming widely known that big hotel chains use it to decide if you are worthy of an upgrade. There are stories of people being moved to large suites and penthouses simply by mentioning their score. There are theories that certain companies are using your numbers to prioritize customer service issues. Meaning, if Mrs. 50 complains about her broken X at the same time Mr. 70 does, Mr.70 is going to get priority. I personally had an experience where I had a service person come out after something I had tweeted about and tell me “you must be important because I was told in no uncertain terms to make this right.” Which I found disturbingly funny.

Your Klout score is public information and can be easily accessed by anyone. Services like hootsuite make it easy to view Klout scores right on the dashboard. All you have to do is click on someones name while in the service.

hootsuite image of klout score

OK, you get now why this is important and I am sure your next question is going to be: How do I improve my Klout score?

Klout states it comes up with your score looking at 35+variables that have mostly to do with:

  • True Reach: the size of your engaged audience.
  • Amplification Probability: likelihood that your content will be acted upon.
  • Network Influence: the influence level of your engaged audience.

BUT, if you google “How to increase Klout scores” you come up with a large variety of feel-good answers like:

Ask earnest questions

Make time for Twitter

or my personal favorite

Get important people to talk about you.

But for those of us who need more than generic responses, I think there is real merit in setting goals based on these pretty little badges. But before we go any farther: if you haven’t yet claimed your profile you need to by registering a free account. Add your twitter, facebook, and linkedin profiles (currently in beta). At first, I was reluctant to share my facebook because of privacy issues but in the last 6 months I have not had any issues with allowing them access to my profile.

Now lets take a look at some images that show how your badges tend to correlate with your score:

klout badges for lower scores

It's obvious looking at these that neither one of these users have linked their facebook accounts to their Klout profile. Klout appears to just be monitoring Twitter for these users.

badges of higher klout scorers

You can see Facebook appearing in the second row of badges for these users.

For those curious, 50 and 61 above are both ‘mom bloggers’. I will admit to being 61. 81 is a well known ‘social media guru’. You can see that while I have the 100 List Membership Badge (I am currently listed 380 times), 81 has the 10K badge. Obviously, my next goal is to get the 500 badge. Looking at what badges are possible helps me set attainable goals to raise my score.Each of these badges have achievement levels.

achievement level for klout badges

achievement levels for klout badges

Things you can work towards:

  • Being placed on more twitter lists. Formulists is great for creating more lists of your own.
  • Having your tweets retweeted more and by different users.
  • Increase your facebook comments and likes.

You need to expand who you talk to! You may have 30,000 followers but if you are only talking to 25 of them, you are not going to increase your Klout score.

There is certainly evidence that supports that WHO you talk is important. Many theorize that having Mr. 81 talk to you is better for your score than talking to Mr. 29. You can’t really disagree when one of the major factors Klout analyzes is how influencial your network is. But that sounds an awful like hanging out with the cool kid crowd in highschool. I would rather spend my day engaging with the people I like and reaching out to new people than trying to get one of the cool kids to talk to me.

In the end, it really does come down to the feel-good mantras though of creating things people are interested in, engaging with a variety of people, and promoting others more than you promote yourself.

And let me just preempt any comments that tell me how shallow it is to attach grades to engagement. I don’t disagree! But, it really doesn’t matter what any of us think of how our scores are used. The fact is, they are. And if you are a blogger, or have another online profession, ignorance is not bliss when it comes to Klout. This post isn’t about the ethics behind it. It’s about making you aware of one way your influence is being measured and giving you some concrete ways to cast yourself in the best light.

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