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Next weekend I start a year long treatment of a low dose of weekly chemo to get my body under control. It sounds worse than it really is. You take the meds once a week and can expect to be sick for a couple of days following, then have some good days in between the next dose. The goal is to trick your immune system into stopping the internal fight going on, wiping out the good with the bad. I’ve been told the biggest effect on my life will be a lowered, or compromised, immune system which may will put a damper in my social and travel life, cause you are all germy creatures.
I am choosing to share this not because I want to hear the collective pity party. I’m posting as a way to set a universal intention. An intention to use this gift of a year to slow down. Take better care of myself. Read some books. Find ways to streamline my work life while building my business. Take a walk and finally get back to daily yoga or meditation. Eat and cook recognizable foods, removing as much processed as I can. You know, in general, get my act together.
I am not going to lie. I am scared. Not at all about the new treatments. But about actually concentrating on myself. I am not comfortable being the center of anyone’s attention, including my own. I don’t know what it is to turn down a conference call because I am doing yoga. Or outsource things so that I can truly focus on what is most important. But I am going to try. Because the universe throws lots of things at us and we have to decide to see each one as the blessing in disguise it is and learn from it.
That’s my intent anyway.