Next weekend I start a year long treatment of a low dose of weekly chemo to get my body under control. It sounds worse than it really is. You take the meds once a week and can expect to be sick for a couple of days following, then have some good days in between the next dose. The goal is to trick your immune system into stopping the internal fight going on, wiping out the good with the bad. I've been told the biggest effect on my life will be a lowered, or compromised, immune system which may will put a damper in my social and travel life, cause you are all germy creatures. I am choosing to share this not because I want to hear the collective pity party. I'm posting as a way to set a universal intention. An intention to use this gift of a year to slow down. Take better care of myself. Read some books. Find ways to streamline my work life while building my business. Take a walk and finally get back to daily yoga or meditation. Eat and cook recognizable foods, removing as much processed as I can. You know, in general, get my act together. I am not going to lie. I am scared. Not at all about the new treatments. But about actually concentrating on myself. I am not comfortable ...
If This Were My Last Post
Much has been said since Friday about the horrific mass murder that took place here in Aurora. Many people have written eloquent words in an attempt to frame their emotions at a time of such loss. I have no words. Because the words of Jessica Redfield (Gwahi) keep rambling in my mind haunting me in a way that is quite unexplainable. She writes on her blog on June 5th: I can’t get this odd feeling out of my chest. This empty, almost sickening feeling won’t go away. I noticed this feeling when I was in the Eaton Center in Toronto just seconds before someone opened fire in the food court. An odd feeling which led me to go outside and unknowingly out of harm‘s way. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how a weird feeling saved me from being in the middle of a deadly shooting. She shared this on a blog it appears she hadn't touched in 10 months. Her brush in almost being in the center of a shooting moved her to a place she felt she needed to write. I know that place well. So many of my posts write themselves. They come to me as things I simply have to write and stick with me until I do. It doesn't matter who reads it, but I have to put it out there. Like this one, which ...
A Fish Tale of a Fathers Day
Summer and fishing seem to go hand and hand. The idyllic idea of catching a gigantic fish with dear old Dad. Thing is, it usually isn't so idyllic. How it really goes: Family starts off all excited with a cooler full of worms and gatorade. Kid casts and hurts their sibling who was smart enough to stand behind them. Sibling cries. Dad helps get it safely in the water. "Dad, my string broke" "Dad, my worm fell off" "Dad, its been in the water 3 minutes. When will the big fish jump on it" "Dad, its been 5 minutes and no fish" "Dad this is boring" "Mom, did you bring my DS?" "Dad, when can we go home?" Parents pack up the car and head home with their Norman Rockwell dreams crushed. Multiply the above scenario by as many kids as you bring with you. I know. We have been trying since the kids were little. We have tried every lake, reservoir and have, yes, resorted to those 'shoot in a barrel' places (shhh....don't judge). So when my husband decided he wanted to learn how to fly fish with the teens I just rolled my eyes. Not only has regular fishing been a nightmare, I couldn't imagine how Carter would manage that in his wheelchair. But ...
A Lesson in Letting Go
If you saw me tonight you probably didn't know we had to put our beloved, old smelly gas bag of a doggy, Buddy, to sleep hours before. I wasn't ready to process it just yet. I will never forget the day Buddy came into our lives. We had just moved to Vegas and Connor was in first grade. We were walking past a Petsmart and they were having one of their adoption days. As I quickly tried moving my little boy along, this massive ape of a dog jumped over the portable cage, knocking it over, to get to Connor. He was wagging his tail and seemed to be saying, "Wanna play ball?" It was a forgone conclusion that he would be joining our family when my little blond hair boy said "Mom, please! I have NO friends here." Moving guilt kicked in and Buddy was soon in the back of our car. Buddy was a pain in the butt. He barked. A LOT. He would open doors and let himself in the house using the lever handles. He once stole an apple pie off the back of the counter and made it look like the pie just disappeared from the untouched plate. But we loved him. While the barking annoyed our HOA, the way he followed me when Bob traveled constantly was reassuring. Connor spent hours throwing the ball up our ...
Retro Beach That Took Me Back In Time
Had a great trip to Hermosa Beach. If you want to read the full article, head over to where I write most of my travel articles. ...