This post is one of those that comes into my heart and has to be published. It's messy and raw and real. I have these moments where I just need to write. I am having a moment now so please indulge me by not caring about the way it comes out. Would Someone Please Stop the Merry-Go-Round? Really. I am tired. and dizzy. and I just don't know how many turns I can take at this. The ups and downs and the constant round and round. Never really getting anywhere. No finish line to reach. When your kids are little and they have a special challenge like spina bifida you have so many people there cheering you on. Cheerleaders do it out of love for you, your child, and a tiny hope that they are right. They say, "keep going" "you are in the hard years" "it will get better". Theoretically, they are lying. I don't think it is even a lie they are aware of. I have told it so many times myself. Somethings DO get better, but mostly you just get stronger. You transform from the crumbled mess you were on the day you heard your child's horrific diagnoses. You become harder to beat down. You readjust your vision of 'normal'. It's who we are as humans, as mothers and fathers. We ...

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