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If This Were My Last Post

July 23, 2012 by barb

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Much has been said since Friday about the horrific mass murder that took place here in Aurora. Many people have written eloquent words in an attempt to frame their emotions at a time of such loss. I have no words. Because the words of Jessica Redfield (Gwahi) keep rambling in my mind haunting me in a way that is quite unexplainable. She writes on her blog on June 5th: I can’t get this odd feeling out of my chest. This empty, almost sickening feeling won’t go away. I noticed this feeling when I was in the Eaton Center in Toronto just seconds before someone opened fire in the food court. An odd feeling which led me to go outside and unknowingly out of harm‘s way. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how a weird feeling saved me from being in the middle of a deadly shooting. She shared this on a blog it appears she hadn't touched in 10 months. Her brush in almost being in the center of a shooting moved her to a place she felt she needed to write. I know that place well. So many of my posts write themselves. They come to me as things I simply have to write and stick with me until I do. It doesn't matter who reads it, but I have to put it out there. Like this one, which ...

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Filed Under: and chaos ensues

A Fish Tale of a Fathers Day

June 21, 2012 by barb

fly fishing

Summer and fishing seem to go hand and hand. The idyllic idea of catching a gigantic fish with dear old Dad. Thing is, it usually isn't so idyllic. How it really goes: Family starts off all excited with a cooler full of worms and gatorade. Kid casts and hurts their sibling who was smart enough to stand behind them. Sibling cries. Dad helps get it safely in the water. "Dad, my string broke" "Dad, my worm fell off" "Dad, its been in the water 3 minutes. When will the big fish jump on it" "Dad, its been 5 minutes and no fish" "Dad this is boring" "Mom, did you bring my DS?" "Dad, when can we go home?" Parents pack up the car and head home with their Norman Rockwell dreams crushed. Multiply the above scenario by as many kids as you bring with you.  I know. We have been trying since the kids were little. We have tried every lake, reservoir and have, yes, resorted to those 'shoot in a barrel' places (shhh....don't judge). So when my husband decided he wanted to learn how to fly fish with the teens I just rolled my eyes. Not only has regular fishing been a nightmare, I couldn't imagine how Carter would manage that in his wheelchair. But ...

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Filed Under: Travel Tagged With: accessible fishing in Colorado, fly fishing, wheelchair adventures

A Lesson in Letting Go

June 20, 2012 by barb

buddy and nala

If you saw me tonight you probably didn't know we had to put our beloved, old smelly gas bag of a doggy, Buddy, to sleep hours before. I wasn't ready to process it just yet. I will never forget the day Buddy came into our lives. We had just moved to Vegas and Connor was in first grade. We were walking past a Petsmart and they were having one of their adoption days. As I quickly tried moving my little boy along, this massive ape of a dog jumped over the portable cage, knocking it over, to get to Connor. He was wagging his tail and seemed to be saying, "Wanna play ball?" It was a forgone conclusion that he would be joining our family when my little blond hair boy said "Mom, please! I have NO friends here." Moving guilt kicked in and Buddy was soon in the back of our car. Buddy was a pain in the butt. He barked. A LOT. He would open doors and let himself in the house using the lever handles. He once stole an apple pie off the back of the counter and made it look like the pie just disappeared from the untouched plate. But we loved him. While the barking annoyed our HOA, the way he followed me when Bob traveled constantly was reassuring. Connor spent hours throwing the ball up our ...

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Filed Under: family life

Retro Beach That Took Me Back In Time

June 15, 2012 by barb

Hermosa Beach Vacation Photos

Had a great trip to Hermosa Beach. If you want to read the full article, head over to where I write most of my travel articles. ...

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Filed Under: Travel, Traveling Mom Posts

Getting Over the Fear: Prepping Out of the Panic

June 11, 2012 by barb

solar lights for emergency use .97 Walmart

Last month I was pretty sick. The kind of lay in bed all day long sick. I had a lot of time to watch TV. One afternoon while idly channel surfing I came across the show, Doomsday Preppers. At first, I was fascinated with this latest American Outliers creation of NatGeo.  What could possibly drive so much fear in people that they would bury shelters and stock years worth of toilet paper? So, I kept watching. And the more I watched the less bizarre these people seemed. If you strip away the sensationalism, they may actually have a point. I went from watching out of fascination to watching out of fear. How was my family supposed to survive TEOTWAWKI (The End Of The World As We Know It) when the SHTF (Shit Hits The Fan). Yes, these are actual acronyms in the Prepper's vocabulary. I know because I became so paralyzed with fear from this show that I began heavily researching prepper and survivalists forums, blogs and books. THIS is what laying in bed idly watching TV turns you into! In my freak out mode I decided to reach out to my friends and ask,"Pssst, am I crazy?" and the resounding answer I got was, no. It turns out that while no one wants to openly talk about it, most of my ...

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Filed Under: and chaos ensues Tagged With: prepping

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A Bit About Me…


I truly love the wonderful chaos of motherhood, but as my kids grew, I started craving a different kind of pace and a sense of calm I couldn't quite find.

Moving to the coast, which is my happy place, really changed how I live the day to day. Now, I just try to bring more calm into our days, even though they're still pretty busy.

It's not about making life perfect. It's just finding some balance and little bits of peace in the middle of the happy hustle, letting the salt air work its magic on the chaos.

Knock, Knock! Anyone home?

I no longer participate in PR campaigns of any type. I consider this blog to be in retirement but here for anyone who would like to read. I started this journey in 1998 with a company I named “Chaotic Communications”. I am so happy to have lost that chaotic feeling. Today I have rebranded that life and work to simply “Indigo Ink“. You can click that link to find my latest projects.

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