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My Children Don’t Deserve Forks

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Last week I was having lunch with Emily, Susan and Karin. The subject got around to the new IKEA opening in Centennial soon. If you live in the Denver area, you know this is quite the talked about event. I casually mentioned I was so excited because now my family will finally be able to have new forks.

my red forks I got 3 very strange looks. I had to explain that my children don’t deserve forks and so I was waiting for IKEA to open to buy a cheap, new set. I have been waiting about 6 months.

I guess that sounds a bit odd when you hear it out loud.

Forks around here are that straw that broke mamas back.

We never have forks when it is time to set the table! Why is this? They can’t all be in the dishwasher right? Well, yes, when you only have 4 forks apparently they can all be in the dishwasher at the same time.

We didn’t start out with 4 forks. I swear at one point we had 3 full sets.

So where in the H E Double Hockey Sticks did 20 forks go? I honestly have no idea! Do you? Apparently the boys don’t either. If I had to guess I would say they have been thrown away during clearing the table laziness.

In a missing-fork-induced mom rage while yielding one of the 4 fork survivors I yelled at the kids “You can buy yourselves new forks when IKEA opens“.

They didn’t think I was serious.

I was.

Deadly.

and so we have limped through the last 6 months washing and re-washing those 4 precious forks waiting patiently for IKEA to open.

And as the big day looms closer and closer I got a small sign from the fork gods. As part of a campaign I am doing with Birds Eye I got a package which innocently contained 2 red forks.

They are my forks! My beautiful, precious, can spot from the other side of the room forks.

If I catch anyone even thinking about using my forks you will likely here about missing children in the Denver area. They have forks in jail right?

 

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Comments

  1. That is total awesomeness. I can see you in your fork induced rage right now. And I certainly don’t blame you! I haven’t lost any forks YET and I’m holding onto hope that my two little boys don’t take on similar habits.

    Congrats on the new IKEA. I have to drive about 2 1/2 hours to mine but I love it. We are even taking a trip there this week. Wahoo!

    • I LOVE Ikea. Whenever would visit Phoenix or LA I would make my husband stop there. One time I bought a 5 foot latern and made him lug it all the way back to Vegas with us. It totally doesn’t work in this new house but I keep it out of principle.

  2. Barb… got a good chuckle from this one…. but can understand the FRUSTRATION! Other than the trash (recycle) issues… thought about PLASTIC for the kids? Maybe by time IKEA opens, you’ll have them somewhat “trained?”

    • It does bug me about the plastic part. I have given them those and make them put them in the dishwasher and the damn things disappear too.

  3. Around my house, it’s spoons. I think the little snotballs use them to dig around outside and then they disappear underground. The older snotballs probably have a dozen hiding up in their rooms…
    We have a small supply of forks, and we do use plastic forks regularly along with paper plates(please don’t hate me, treehuggers!).

  4. I would so do this! ROFL – so glad I’m not the only one to be silly about the last straw items. And yes, I finally had to buy more spoons because we were in a similar situation with spoons. I too decided they must have been thrown away – either at school or home. And don’t get me started on dish towels…. 😉 So glad to know IKEA has saved your family from the fork embargo. 🙂

  6. I totally go to the dollar store for this. Just needed to do it for some spoons. Now i have lots of spoons.