For the Love of Fairies, STOP the Freaking Auto-DM’s

Dear Auto-dmer’s,

See her? A few moments ago she was flitting about petting butterflies in my garden. Now she is dead. I hope you’re happy.

You see, every time I get an auto dm on twitter asking me to like someone’s FB page, a fairy falls over dead. Your DM’s annoy me so much that a fairy has to leave her peaceful flower garden to sprinkle me with pixie dust so that I don’t reach through my laptop and punch you in the throat. In her gallant effort to rush here to save your throat, she invariably suffers heart failure and falls to the ground dead shortly after.

And for what? REALLY? Do people actually rush over to facebook and follow you? Do you get responses like:

Oh, thank goodness, I was looking all over facebook for a link to like you & could only find your twitter account!

or

If I follow you on facebook, can I please get more spam messages like this?

or

I know we just met but I can tell in your last 140 characters you feel the connection too. Let’s FB chat!

Cause I am kinda thinking you don’t. Or if you do, you may want to look into places that provide bulk restraining orders.

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that somewhere in some social media ‘class‘ some ‘guru‘ told you this was a great idea. Or perhaps you read an article on building social media presence that was written in 2008. It’s OK. We all make mistakes. I admit I had my fun with an auto-dm too. Then this decade started.

But now that you know you have made one? Stop doing it OK?

I promise that besides needlessly killing fairies you are most certainly harming any chance you have of building ‘trust capital’. 

Sincerely Yours,

@barblikos

and if I dm’d you this link in response to yours, know that I am only trying to help you. I followed you because I thought you were interesting but then you blew it with a horrible first impression. Buy me a drink and we will be good.