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On Getting Opinionated

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…if you’re not worried about the backlash you’ll get from your writing, you’re probably not tackling anything terribly important.-Heretics, Superheroes, and Fighting the Lonely War of the Writer

I can’t tell you how many blog posts I have sitting in ‘drafts’ that I sat down and passionately poured my opinions out in. Yet, when it came time to hit the ‘publish’ button, I just didn’t have the guts to.

Fear. It is an interesting thing.

I live in an interestingly, contradictory world. I love to write. I love to connect. I love it when someone actually reads what I have to write. But I am afraid to put my opinions out there for all to possibly criticize. I am afraid you may actually read what I have to write.

What if I write something you don’t like? Or we don’t have the same politics? Or you don’t get my sarcastically, quirky humor?

You may make fun of me. You may leave me nasty comments. You might trash me online. I am OK with that. We probably weren’t meant to be BFF’s anyway.

But what if you are a little crazier than that? And you go digging through all my posts and put together where I live, my social security number and even what color panties I wear on Mondays? That’s creepy, scary and sadly has happened to bloggers. Obviously, I am not OK with that.

Some argue that the moment a blogger hits ‘publish’ they leave themselves open to be treated as a public domain. I can’t really argue that point. I could call my kids “Thing 1” and “Thing 2” (just made that up so if you really do that I am not talking about you).  But I am, sadly, not under the impression that anyone with google and 10 minutes couldn’t find out more about me then my own mother knows.

Being a blogger shouldn’t mean giving up your right to privacy, or anonymity, if that is what you want. But, that isn’t the reality-and in my case, I am open about who I am. What I am not overly open about are those opinions. The controversial ones- politics, religion, hot button topics.

Ever have this happen to you as a blogger?

You are innocently sitting at dinner and someone brings up something silly that happened to you years ago? And you can’t for the life of you figure out how this person knows about that….

so you ask. And the response is a shocked, “I read it on your blog, silly” and you say,  “Of course, silly me! I forgot I wrote about that.

but what you are really thinking is, “Holy SHIT! Did I really put that online?? Double HOLY SHIT, what else do these people know about me? CRAP! I hope they didn’t read that one where I was talking about the crazy people we went out to dinner with. Cause that was totally about them. How did they know I blog?  Oh shit. Oh crap.  Think! Think! What else did you say Barb? O M G you are so freaking stupid! You and your stupid big mouth, or big fingers I should say. You need more wine. Now.” Waiter?

No?? Well, of course I haven’t either….. but that is beside the point.

You can see the dilemma. I guess I am not that confident in myself to have my you know my opinions long before we say ‘hello’. But it is something I am working on. Because I want to be able to say “Oh yes, I did write that incredibly smart, funny, and opinionated piece on taxation of upper income Americans” and then be able to have an intelligent, rational conversation with you about it. And, if we don’t agree? I hope it will be OK and we will still be friends. We don’t have to agree on everything, right? We can respect each others opinions and move on. At least now we are passed the uncomfortable small talk.

As long as we agree on what type of wine to order it’s all good in my world.

 

barb: