As my last birthday passed I began to hear an odd sound. It started off in quiet whispers but is getting louder and louder as time passes on . It is so loud now that I recognize it for what it is....my biological clock warning me the alarm is soon to sound and final call is fast approaching. While we made the decision years ago to not have more children, I've waxed and waned with my feelings of maybe, possibly, reopening that door. I have researched adoption, even special needs adoption. I have researched foster parenting. I have researched genetic science if we did want to open the biological door. With two neurological defect pregnancies in my 20's I doubt I have it in me emotionally to chance our genetic match up in my late 30's. But tonight as my oldest roamed the mall with his friends, I had the chance to just sit. That is all. Just be. This is VERY hard for me. But I did it. I watched children come and go and play and I marveled in how they could make toys out of chairs and each other. How rolling around in the grass outside by the fountains at Park Meadows mall was as exciting to them as a trip to the Lego store. I marveled at their sense of joy and peace in just being. ...
Archives for 2011
I’ll Take Barb, With a Side of Order of Chaos, To Go Please
It's another one of those mornings that I feel like I must write. Something. Not really sure where/how this will end up so please just indulge my need to type. I have fizzy pop brain. That is what I call it when I feel like my brain is bulging with too much information and then someone comes along and shakes it all up. I have particles of information flying everywhere inside my brain trying desperately to get out. Yet none of it makes sense. This is fizzy pop brain. I am shocked the number of times in the last few weeks that I have had a conversation related to chaos. Last week when I was headed to New York my super organized friends were appalled I was packing an hour before the car got here. In New York people were amazed I wasn't worried about checking my flight. Lots of these little conversations about how different my thought processes are from most of the people I know. I fly by the seat of my pants. That sometimes means my underwear shows. But mostly its a great thrill. I wasn't always like this. But 13 years ago I changed. I started to learn that life was not something I could control. I could have the best laid plans and it didn't matter. There were big things that I ...
Boys. The Truth Is…You Are American
Dear Boys, Every year at St Patrick's Day we don our green and fly our Irish flag proudly. And we proudly tell you stories of our roots in England, Holland and Lithuania. But I just realized what an injustice we have done to you. You are not Irish. Or English. Or Dutch. Or Lithuanian. You are in fact, in the purist sense, Americans. You have ancestors who are the founding fathers of Concord, most of New Jersey, and key ports of New York. You have historical homes built by your great grandfathers still preserved today. You have great grandmothers who came here to flee both potato famines and communist rule.You have ancestors who have fought in every US War, and on both sides of the Civil War. I am sorry. I thought that by telling you you were Irish, or Dutch, or what have you that we were giving you a historical identity. But I realize now how wrong I was. Every ancestor you have came to this country and gave their blood, sweat and tears so that you, my sons, could proudly say, I AM AMERICAN. To say anything else trivialize your rich history of those who have built this country-whether they came here in the 1600's or the 1900's. YOU are their dream. YOU are why they ...
Are Your Butt Cheeks Clenched?
Do you walk around with your butt cheeks clenched all day? According to Amy, the owner of Orange Skye Day Spa in Denver, 90% of us do. Who knew? Last week I lifted my son one too many times during a transfer from his chair to the car. And I felt it. Literally. Felt it pop-or tear-not really sure which but believe me when I tell you I felt it. I went to the doctor and got the prescription for the muscle relaxers. And pain pills. And therapy orders. And after 4 days I felt well enough to hobble into my Spa Week appointment at Orange Skye. I was signed up for the The Destress, Sweat & Shimmer Package *which, by the way, she if offering for $50 the whole month of April*. I was all about trying something new that week. Orange Skye is located just a little west of the DU area in Denver. It is a cute house converted into a Day Spa. Parking is a little tricky with all the construction and it took me a bit to find the backyard-turned parking lot. Give yourself a few extra minutes when heading here to find it. It is no fun being stressed about being late for your destressing. Walking in the back door was a lot like walking into a good friends house and I felt that way about ...
Dear Spa Fates,
You sorta suck lately. Just sayin'. People think I have this awesome gig going on reviewing all these awesome spas and I have go admit, last week when I was in heaven at Orange Skye you had me fooled too. But you are a tease. You lured me in with the promise of botox last Friday, only to have your friend, Demon of Infectious Diseases visit me instead. In place of muscle relaxing facial juice, I was served a serious case of 'oh, better not to mention it'. Oh, and that awesome invite to Vail for a full spa day? Yeah, really cool of you to put it on the one day I have an appointment with Carter that can't be changed. And don't think I didn't notice know you screwed up my video of Mary at Relaxed, Yet? But I got you back for that with some awesome footage of how to give yourself a butt massage. I will be publishing that soon here. You need to stop screwing with me. My last few blog posts are pretty indicative of the fact that I am about to go postal on someone. I really didn't want it to be you. Honestly, I really like you and the gifts you give me. SO can we make a deal? You stop making bad things happen on the few days I get to relax and I won't write you nasty ...