Much has been said since Friday about the horrific mass murder that took place here in Aurora. Many people have written eloquent words in an attempt to frame their emotions at a time of such loss. I have no words. Because the words of Jessica Redfield (Gwahi) keep rambling in my mind haunting me in a way that is quite unexplainable. She writes on her blog on June 5th: I can’t get this odd feeling out of my chest. This empty, almost sickening feeling won’t go away. I noticed this feeling when I was in the Eaton Center in Toronto just seconds before someone opened fire in the food court. An odd feeling which led me to go outside and unknowingly out of harm‘s way. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how a weird feeling saved me from being in the middle of a deadly shooting. She shared this on a blog it appears she hadn't touched in 10 months. Her brush in almost being in the center of a shooting moved her to a place she felt she needed to write. I know that place well. So many of my posts write themselves. They come to me as things I simply have to write and stick with me until I do. It doesn't matter who reads it, but I have to put it out there. Like this one, which ...
Getting Over the Fear: Prepping Out of the Panic
Last month I was pretty sick. The kind of lay in bed all day long sick. I had a lot of time to watch TV. One afternoon while idly channel surfing I came across the show, Doomsday Preppers. At first, I was fascinated with this latest American Outliers creation of NatGeo. What could possibly drive so much fear in people that they would bury shelters and stock years worth of toilet paper? So, I kept watching. And the more I watched the less bizarre these people seemed. If you strip away the sensationalism, they may actually have a point. I went from watching out of fascination to watching out of fear. How was my family supposed to survive TEOTWAWKI (The End Of The World As We Know It) when the SHTF (Shit Hits The Fan). Yes, these are actual acronyms in the Prepper's vocabulary. I know because I became so paralyzed with fear from this show that I began heavily researching prepper and survivalists forums, blogs and books. THIS is what laying in bed idly watching TV turns you into! In my freak out mode I decided to reach out to my friends and ask,"Pssst, am I crazy?" and the resounding answer I got was, no. It turns out that while no one wants to openly talk about it, most of my ...
Is a Disney Cruise Right for Your Special Needs Family?
Before I left for the media preview Fantasy Cruise last month, I did some price comparison. While my husband, oldest and I have all cruised multiple times, I have yet to take our youngest. And I feel really badly about that. But to be honest with both the wheelchair and autism hurdles to overcome with him, I just have never been quite sure how he would do. Since he is such a Disney fan I always thought that his first cruise would probably work best on a Disney ship. Every time I went to book one though two things stopped me: the price and the fact that they always seemed sold out of the itineraries we wanted. Disney cruises aren't cheap. Comparing the cost between two fictitious similar itineraries to Mexico, Princess Cruises were close to $3000 less than the Disney counterpart & 3 days longer. ; Which is the point where I would take my hand off the 'book' button and walk away, dazed and confused to exactly why I thought that sailing on a Disney ship was going to be so much better. I'll be honest. I posed this question to several friends that had cruised Disney before. They all assured me that once I was on board I would see why they are almost always booked and ...
How Do We Help Our Kids Make Good Choices (and is it our responsibility when they dont?)
Last year I wrote a hard post about my biological father being homeless. It is interesting how many people I surprised. I think we often forget when we meet people as adults in surburbia PTA that people have stories behind them. I think we are so quick to form someone whole identity from seeing them in their mini-van driving, middle class living life that how they got there never is asked. Today I am asking it because of a conversation on my facebook wall. It was prompted by the sharing of this link by someone I really respect: I started to wonder how the kid got to this stage? Forget what you think of the sign and ask what the backstory is here? Is this the moms first attempt at 'fixing' the problem herself? What makes a kid at 14 start selling drugs? Where is the parental responsibilty in that? It was suggested that I had a black and white thinking that bad kids are a result of bad parenting. I actually don't think that. The truth is I don't believe there are 'bad kids'. I believe there are kids (and parents) that make "bad" choices, even long spiraling series of choices in some cases. It was suggested it was easier to make bad choices when you grow up poor. But I ...
Mrs. Holliday Kicks Lupus Butt
Last night I was gifted a new nick name- Mrs. Holliday. The two l's are intentional. Dave felt it was a great moniker for how I sounded while hacking up a lung and still drinking up at the bar. It was an impromptu get together of old friends and new and a tiny cough was not going to keep me away. Certainly not as I had pressed on over the last few weeks on the wings and the prayers of steriod injections and double my daily steroids. I know, doubling them up isn't smart but it was just to get me through these really tough holiday weeks. It helped me to hide how badly my body was yelling at me to stop. BUT I have no time to stop. I have family I love, kids who need me, friends I adore, a career that fulfills me. I have high school basketball season to cheer through. Finals to help study for. Doctors appointments that must be managed. Many, many of those. You get it. I know you do. All of you have your families and lives that must go on. And just when all seems to be on the upswing I wake up with an ugly harbinger that the lupus knows I have sold my soul too long and it is come to take it's due. The lumpy, itchy rash on my arm is the mark of the dark Lord of Lupus. It's a ...