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May Came. I Survived.

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Wow….did May just happen? REALLY? It was a BLUR!

Quite frankly it was the month I have been dreading for years. The month I never thought I could get through. Yet, somehow, miraculously I survived. Barely. But I did.

I am dragging around the battle scars of my oldest’s 18th birthday, high school graduation, a house full of family staying with us, and a great trip with long weather delays to San Francisco. All wonderful things. All a lot on me physically and/or emotionally.

All so many things I have gotten through but haven’t processed. And I am not ready to quite yet. Not ready to put those feelings out there. Suffice it to say that I have always been dangerously close to my kids. Losing one, even if just for 9 months to Omaha, won’t be easy for me and each day that passes this summer just brings that closer.

This summer I plan to treasure a  healthy Carter (who is in a Lego Robotics class as I type this) and  Connor who is getting ready to leave my nest, while working at least 3 jobs this summer and trying to cram every last second with his friends at the gym.

I am immersing myself in travel and life and getting out there. I am also starting to concentrate more on me and my health . Figuring out what I am going to do when half my chickadees fly the coop. That’s the sucky part of having two kids.

San Francisco was a nice start to my travel and I gained quite a few tech tools for taking care of myself and making life easier at the Verizon Insiders Event. I had lunch with a great, old friend and hung out with so many of my like minded online buddies. Not to mention I received (free) so many great tech things it will take me all summer to tell you about. Tomorrow I will tell you all about how I am starting to use them. But today, I will just leave you with a happy May memory.

This was taken at the Baccalaureate Mass after Father Steele mentioned that Connor was recognized by his friends as being the kind of kid who could always lift their spirits and make them laugh. I am so proud of that quality in him. He has gone through a lot, that kid and if he can keep that attitude through college and his life, I will know I have equipped him well for being the man I always hoped he would be.

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Comments

  1. I, too am dreading May in about two years, so your words give me hope that everything will be okay. I am glad you are taking time to take care of yourself and get yourself out there more. You are one of the most intelligent, caring people I know, and I am blessed to call you a friend!

  2. It’s been two years since my dreaded May…wish I could say it gets easier. But it doesn’t. I had a panic attack leaving my guy at college 3 1/2 hours away from home. I can only say you learn to enjoy the time you do get with them.
    I also think it’s harsh that somehow we get hit in the heart so many times at once…the high school graduation, turning 18 and then leaving for college…it all happened within 3 months for me. So not fair.

    • Me too Des. He turned 18 ten days before graduation. Add in all of the drama at this age and I am done for. I will be bawling the entire 8 hour drive home from Omaha I am sure.

  3. My May comes next year . I know when all of this finally goes down, and my child is off to college, that I will miss her like crazy. Our house will be so quiet with just my husband and my daughter with special needs left at home. But I’m so excited for her and her future! I’m trying to ignore all of that. Thanks for inspiring me an letting me know I will survive it all, too!

    • It’s a weird sort of empty nest for us huh Karin? You will survive. I promise. The worst is anticipating it. And then it just happens all at once. Sort of like that huge climb up the roller coaster.

  4. I’ve gotten a little more room between the events (18 was at Thanksgiving), but graduation is Saturday. Bring on the tissue because even thinking about it makes me tear up. Hugs to you and I hope I can handle things as gracefully as you have done.

  5. I’ve gotten a little more room between the events (18 was at Thanksgiving), but graduation is Saturday. Bring on the tissue because even thinking about it makes me tear up. Hugs to you and I hope I can handle things as gracefully as you have done.

  6. Barb, Thank you for this post. I needed this preparation pep talk. Yes like Karin my May happens next year too. Although to prepare me my darling 17 year old has been preparing me by playing “She’s leaving home” and “Blackbird” by the Beatles. I’m tearing up right now just writing this down. We do have a spectacular summer planned this year but it’s going to be rough. Keep an eye out for me on tissue sales – I’ll purchase in bulk.